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I was blinded by the sun, but you couldn't understand why I didn't turn away. You kept repeating yourself, "Just come inside darling, just come inside". I tried to tell you that I was depending on the sun to stop me falling into the darkness; I tried to tell you that I couldn't bear to be just another flicker of your past that you couldn't quite recall, but the words wouldn't come out. Besides, even if I had wanted to turn away, I was rooted to the spot. Fixated on the burning. It irritated you. You said you'd seen the sun and your eyes were fine; you said I was my own worst enemy, hell bent on self destruction. Eventually you lost interest in trying to drag me away from the blaze.
"Let me know when you can look me in the eye and stop staring at that Goddamn sun". That was the last thing I heard as you left. I couldn't even turn my face to watch you retreat out of the light and into the cool shadows. My eyes were scarred yellow and orange, blistering round the edges, and I hated myself for it.
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