Why sex is better with The One

Leave a Comment
Sex tips
Image Credit

There are two types of people in this world. Those that have had bad, awkward or seriously cringe inducing sex, and liars. Those of us that aren't liars will know that these sexperiences normally fall into one of the following categories:

The drunk one you'd rather forget
Your boyfriend's recently given you the “It's not you, it's me” spiel, you've had one too many red wines down the pub opposite work with Dave from accounts, and all of a sudden you're wondering why you've never noticed Dave's rugged good looks before. Before you know it you're getting down and dirty back at his flat, berating yourself for that lie in this morning (no time to shave your legs in the shower) and searching your pockets for some chewing gum to hide that lingering kebab smell from your breath. Normally ends in a disappointing underperformance and a lot of office gossip the next day.
The Adonis
You've wanted him for ages. Every day for months and months you've gone to the gym and given him your best 'I totally know what I'm doing' smile while hoping the look you're sporting can be passed off as a healthy glisten. Combined with your vulnerable 'help, my treadmill's not working' technique and finally the moment has come – you're doing your thing, he's doing his- but your mind is full of annoying questions. Are my wobbly bits wobbling? Do I smell/look/taste funny? Oh God what if I didn't manage to get every little hair when I waxed my FiFi? (Affectionate term for your vagina optional). You put yourself off and it's just not as good as you thought it would be. Bummer.
The fetish guy
It starts off well enough and even seems promising- you've gone on a few dates, there's chemistry, he's a good listener – but before you know it he's whipping out pictures of ladies' feet in the bedroom and trying to get you to wear crocs while doing the deed. The less said about this one the better.
The one night stand
Circumstances include “I've started Uni! I am independent! I'm drunk on life and £1.50 VK's! I can do anything I want!” or “I am totally a grown up professional with my own house now and I can bring anyone back and be as loud as I want”. Can sometimes even stretch to the“I've broken up with my long term partner, what am I doing with my life” crises and invariably ends with someone doing the walk of shame like they're riding a horse. You'd call a taxi but a) you've lost your voice from all that fake orgasming and b) you don't know the address.
While these experiences might not win any awards for the best sex of your life, they go a long way in setting you up in good stead for Sex with 'The One'. And let's face it, at least you've got some funny stories to tell your friends. In comparative terms, sex with a random is like a stale muffin you bought at a petrol station on the A6 ; it's not your favourite flavour and it's nothing to write home about, but it filled a hole, excuse the pun. Sex with the one is like guilt free, rich chocolate cake baked by Nigella herself, topped with whipped cream and sprinkles. All over your face.
https://ssl.gstatic.com/ui/v1/icons/mail/images/cleardot.gifWhen you have sex with The One you don't care if your wobbly bits are wobbling or if you haven't shaved your legs or your breath smells like the garlic bread you just ate for dinner. You can try new things without the fear of weirding each other out and nothing is embarrassing, because you know you love each other and won't think any different of each other. You know what turns each other on and you can make your other half come in two seconds flat if you fancy a quickie. Equally if you're not feeling it, you can tell your partner you can't concentrate and not have to worry about giving them a serious inferiority complex. But you want to know the best thing about having sex with The One? Even when you're having first time sloppy drunk sex and one of you falls off the bed stark bollock naked and gets wedged between the bed frame and the radiator and can't get up, the other one will just pick you up and keep going. Or so I've been told.

Next PostNewer Posts Previous PostOlder Posts Home